The Transwoman’s Guide to ‘Girling’ for Dumb Cis Women
Content Warning: SATIRE, SATIRE, SATIRE, SATIRE, SATIRE and MORE SATIRE.
Welcome. This is a guide for cis women on how to be more of a woman. As transwomen, we have studied in great detail what it actually means to be a WOMAN. As a result, we are now better at it than most of you. So sit down, shut up, and listen to what WE have to say on how YOU should be acting as a WOMAN.
Firstly, What is a Woman Anyway?
There are so many ways to be WOMAN! The word woman used to mean someone who was born as a female, but now, thanks to fast-spreading social contagion and a sprinkling of mental illness, ANYONE can be a WOMAN! All you have to do is identify as a woman, and you’re good to go!
But not so fast… Unless you want to be MISGENDERED by TERFS and KARENS, you’re going to have to learn how to actually act more like a WOMAN! Just saying you are one isn’t enough for these BIGOTS (even though it SHOULD BE!) So here’s our guide on how to ‘girl’ better!
If you’re going to a protest, always wear a ball gown and high heels.
This is to remind people that you are a WOMAN. Unless the way you are dressed screams ‘feminine’ from the rooftops, you might get mistaken for *hushed whisper* a man. And you wouldn’t want that, would you? Not when you are a WOMAN.
If you need to use a public bathroom, make sure to take selfies in there, and maybe videos of yourself twerking.
You should then share these to your social media. This is to remind all of your friends that you are a REAL WOMAN who uses the WOMEN’s bathrooms. Some AFABs might get upset that you’re filming in the bathroom, but their opinions don’t matter. The only thing that matters is you, and how womanly and affirmed you feel, queen! SLAY!
If you ever feel the need to dildo yourself in public, I’ve heard accessible toilets (especially in airports) are a convenient place to do this.
Again, don’t forget to take photos of yourself in the process, and share it all over social media. This is a sure fire way to make sure that everyone who sees it is aware that you are a WOMANLY WOMAN, with a WOMAN’S VAGINA.
You can have sex with whoever you want, Queen! If someone doesn’t want to sleep with you because you’re the wrong sex, remind them that genital preference and exercising their right to say no makes them a BIGOT!
Everyone should be attracted to you, you gorgeous WOMAN! If they aren’t, they’re clearly hateful, and you should trash them publicly on social media for being so discriminatory. In fact, it should be a hate crime to not sleep with you! What genitals you have shouldn’t matter to whether someone is attracted to you or not. The only thing that matters is what gender you’ve decided that you are in your head.
Every time you experience a bad mood or a stomach cramp, that means you’re on your WOMANLY PERIOD! Even if you’re not bleeding from your uterus, even if you don’t actually have a uterus, you’re on your WOMANLY PERIOD and everyone should worship you as the WOMANLY GODDESS that you are!
Again, this is a perfect opportunity to remind people how much of a WOMAN you are, by making social media posts or videos talking about how you are on your WOMANLY PERIOD. Talk about tampons and pads, even if you don’t have a vagina at all. Complain to the masses about how much pain you are in. This is a sure fire way to garner you the sympathy that you are owed as a WOMAN!
Always make sure to refer to your breasts as TITS. This is something that REAL WOMEN obviously do, and isn’t at all a porn-fuelled, hypersexualised word.
Real WOMEN only ever refer to their breasts as TITS. This is because they know, even if they won’t admit it, that they are turned on by their own tits. Who wouldn’t be? Women and TITS are so sexy, that’s why we’re so desperate to be them, right guys? Uh, I mean, GIRLIES!